Virginal Little Princess
by Kealsey Aburame
Summary: Bebe only goes to parties with Kenny for good reasons. None of them being that he's an excellent relationship fairy but sometimes that's helpful. Kenny/Bebe friendship and flashes of ClyBe and Bunny.


**A/N: Cover picture from Seaouryou on Deviantart. I love Bebe and Clyde as a couple, they're the only straight couple I've shipped in a very long time and I also like friends discussing their relationships. This should become more apparent later on.**

Bright. There is some light source directed at my eyes that needs to go away right now. And I think there's some sort of construction going on inside my skull. It might just be a headache though. I'm just going to go back to sleep and wait to wake up when it stops hurting.

Or…I would if I didn't know that this wasn't where I was supposed to be. I knew I was at a party last night, I don't know whose. I know it wasn't mine and it wasn't Clyde's and it wasn't Craig's because then I'd be in a bed and not on the floor. There was a rustling by my feet. Okay, open eyes, assess situation, take action. Then maybe go back to sleep for a little longer.

Blink. Blink. Kenny McCormick, sans his famous parka, was rifling through a bag at my feet. "Kenny, what the fuck are you doing?" I groaned.

"Oh, you're awake." Kenny looked up at me then back at the bag. "'M looking for a cigarette."

I sat up, cradling my head. "I don't smoke, Kenny."

He smiled wide and stupidly. "I know, this isn't yours."

"Alright," I started, recalling nearly nothing from the past night. "Where's mine and whose is it?"

Kenny shrugged. "I don't know where yours is but this is hers." He pointed behind me.

I looked over to see a busty brunette with her shirt undone and hanging open. "Damn." I was one step away from whistling in appreciation but that would be way too loud and I never learned how to whistle anyway.

"I know right." Kenny said with a sly smirk. He found a pack of cigarettes and held his hand out to pull me up. I accepted it and followed him outside.

"Was I with her last night?" I asked Kenny once we were outside. It wasn't a house I recognized so I assumed getting home would be more difficult than I expected.

"Nah," Kenny said, kicking at the ground absently.

"Was I with you?" I asked with a little more fear and apprehension.

"No, I made sure you stayed faithful to your dear boyfriend no matter how much you wanted in on her last night."

I sighed in relief and pecked his cheek. "Thank you. I knew I went with you for a reason."

"Don't worry, 'm here to make sure you keep up your monogamy no matter how fucked up you get, Bebe." He paused for a second. "An' maybe your knight in shining armor deserves a reward?"

I laughed. "How about breakfast? You're looking way too skinny, McCormick."

He shrugged. "Do you know where your car is?"

"We took my car?"

Kenny nodded and laughed. "Do you remember anything from last night?"

I tried to think about it but it just made my headache worse. "Not right now. So, will my knight in shining armor help me find my bag so we can get out of here?"

"It's sitting with the shoes right inside the door."

"I thought you didn't know where it was."

"I saw it while we were walkin' out."

"And you didn't tell me or pick it up or anything?" I let it go before he could respond and went inside to get my bag.

"Your car's on the street somewhere…unless it got towed." He yelled towards me as I was walking back.

I groaned. "If it got towed, I'm cutting off your balls."

"Like it'd be my fault." Kenny scoffed. He pointed down the street a little. "See? You basically got front row parking."

I rolled my eyes and followed him to my car. "So, where would my valiant knight like to eat?"

"Country Kitchen Buffet."

I laughed, forgetting my annoyance with the poor boy. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah," he said flatly. "It's cheap an' open an' the food's pretty good."

I shook my head, disbelieving. "I'm paying, sweetheart, you can pick anything."

Kenny opened the door for me, whispering in my ear like there was anyone within a fifty-foot radius of us. "I just like the fact that no one'll be there 'sides old people."

I got in the car. "Whatever my knight wishes for…I guess." I waved off. I was used to Kenny's weird requests and habits.

Kenny climbed into the car and slammed the door. "Now that we're alone—"

I cut him off, not being able to resist a sassy comment. "Not like we haven't been since I woke up."

He sighed. "Can I ask you somethin'?"

"Shoot."

"Why were you so set on havin' a threesome with me 'n' Tasha last night?" It was an almost bashful question. I think that was the first time I had heard Kenny embarrassed.

I didn't blame him. I didn't really want to answer it either. "You know how I have a wonderful boyfriend who I love and who treats me like a queen and who is the sweetest thing ever?"

"Yeah, me." He smirked.

"Sure, we'll just forget about your cute little wifey." I laughed. "You know how I'm also more than a little promiscuous?"

"A'course."

"Well, I really, really miss tits. Actually, I miss girls in general. Like I love Clyde and all and I don't want to be with anyone else. But…" I groaned in frustration.

"Go on." He urged.

"Clyde won't agree to a threesome with another girl no matter how hard I beg."

Kenny looked dumbstruck. "Is Clyde even straight?" He asked.

I laughed. "I know, right?" I paused. "He says that he doesn't want to share me and that's cute but seriously, I'm begging my boyfriend to have sex with me and another girl and he's not drooling at my feet."

"Wow." He whispered. "I could get fuckin' _Butters_ to agree to a threesome and you can't get _Clyde_?"

I resisted the urge to slam my forehead into the steering wheel as we pulled into the Country Kitchen Buffet parking lot. "I'm just as confused as you. I was hoping that I could get your at least partially-straight-guy opinion on this."

Kenny shrugged as we walked in and were seated. "Um, Clyde is fuckin' insane and I might have to break my promise to you next time we go out because that's totally fuckin' unfair."

I looked over the menu, trying to remind myself that Clyde wasn't Kenny and that Kenny and I broke up for damn good reasons.

"Is it worth it though?" Kenny asked me.

I set the menu down. "What?"

"Like I miss girls too but then I wake up with Butters under my arm and it's worth it." He smiled and I almost believed him.

But I also knew that he was with a girl at least once a month and with Craig whenever he felt like it too. I, on the other hand, had not seen a naked girl outside of porn since I'd been going out with Clyde. I shrugged. "Sometimes it feels like Clyde is trying to ignore that I'm pretty slutty and it kind of pisses me off."

"Mhm?" Kenny looked up at me, wanting to know more.

"Like he always comments on my pajamas because they're all lacey or sheer or whatever and whenever I bring up that I've been with a girl or that I also like girls he tries to change that subject. I just don't want to be his perfect, little virginal princess because I never want to be that way with anyone."

Kenny smirked lazily.

"What?" I asked, slightly annoyed with the stupid smirk I'd seen a hundred times before.

"Just tell him that."

"Tell him what?"

"What you just told me. That you're no one's perfect, virginal little princess. That you're kinda slutty and that's just part of you."

I smiled. "Goddamn, you get all touchy-feely sometimes. I know why _Stan and Kyle_ turn to you for advice now."

He smiled back. "I like romances, 'specially the ones here. They're cute."


End file.
